Self care is a buzzword we hear a lot these days. Everyone says it’s important, but there are a lot of differing–even conflicting–opinions on exactly what it is. I remember as a very new mom being told I needed to do self care. “Why don’t you go get a massage?” was always the proposed solution. Props to my husband for the supportive sentiment, but a massage wasn’t effective for me at all. I felt guilty about being away from my baby. My boobs hurt laying on my stomach. I had to pump after. And worst of all–the second it was over I returned to my previous state of anxiety and exhaustion. This is not to say that a massage isn’t great self care; it is absolutely right for some people! But it didn’t meet the four requirements of powerful self care for me.
Enter skin care and aesthetic treatments (Botox, filler, peels, etc.). These guys are the real deal for me. My definition of self care is: something that you do because you believe you are important, and that helps you grow into the person you want to become. They require action, risk, and investment.
Action. It might seem implied that self care requires action, but this is an element that a lot of strategies forget. The old ‘Netflix ‘n chill’ might be needed every once in a while, but if it’s your daily “self care” you’re going to be disappointed. Activities that require no action on your part fail to send a message of self worth, and rarely help you grow.
Now, don’t eat me alive, please. Young kids, work, all the busy schedules…sometimes you just need to stop moving. Rest is extremely important, and it is a component of self care (although I might argue that screens are the opposite of rest for your brain, but that’s besides the point). If we agree on the above definition of self care, that it both recognizes your value and helps you grow, doom scrolling Tik Tok is not where it’s at.
In fact, doing a skin care routine right before bed might be the thing you tend to skip because you’re just too tired, but this is a mistake. Turn the TV off ten minutes earlier and do the skin care routine. I promise you’ll feel way better laying your clean, hydrated, and nourished face on a pillow than if you’d watched ten more YouTube shorts. Why? Because the action of caring for your skin sent your brain the message that you are important.
Risk. Not all self care activities involve risk, but this is one that makes things like Botox and filler so powerful. The riskier your brain perceives an action to be, the more happy chemicals (dopamine) it releases when you have a positive result. Now, aesthetic treatments are quite safe, but they are not without risk. I discuss the specific risks before each and every treatment I perform with a patient, even if they’ve heard it a hundred times. There are also perceived risks that are not related to actual risks of the treatment; things like, ‘will my family or friends judge me?’
I see this every day in my treatment room. A new patient comes in for consultation, decides to go ahead with Botox treatment, and gets a little nervous. As soon as the procedure is completed, the patient has a wave of positive emotion, elation. The wrinkles haven't even gone away yet! But the action, which included a perceived risk, sent the message “You Are Important” combined with a surge of dopamine. Voila.
Investment. It costs money. Skin care products, botox, and filler are all a financial investment, and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. But when you do, you send yourself the message, “I am important enough to spend money on.” Quite literally, you’ve got skin in the game. You’re more likely to follow through with treatments and preventative maintenance like sunscreen when you’ve invested hard-earned cash in your appearance.
I’m certainly not saying you should overspend on aesthetic treatments. In fact, if you’re not comfortable with the spend, I strongly recommend you don’t have the treatment; the goal of every treatment is to help you feel your best, and you won’t feel your best if you regret spending the money. It’s important to come up with a budget for treatments that you feel safe and comfortable with. A skilled clinician can help you design a treatment plan that honors your budget and helps you make steps towards your skin goals over time.
You can consider options like memberships, which offer reduced prices, and allow for accruing funds in a patient wallet (check out our memberships which give you 10% off all treatments and 20% off skin care!). This way, you’re saving a couple hundred bucks a month toward a treatment when you’re ready.
What do you think of my definition of self care? Do you agree or have another idea?