Maybe I'm being stupid and I shouldn't care about it.

It can take some guts to book your first appointment with me. It’s a vulnerable position, asking someone what they think should be “done” to your face. I had a patient recently who described the things that were bothering her and then said, “but I don’t know, maybe I’m being stupid and I shouldn’t care about it. How do I know what should be treated?”

I have a strong philosophy on this.

I believe that aesthetic treatments can help you in two ways: they make you feel confident, so you bring your best self to the world, and they help your facial expressions match your inner feelings for more effective communication. Let’s dig in.

Shine your light

This one’s pretty simple. We’ve all had a bad hair day, or a tired looking day, or an outfit that just didn’t quite fit, and we spent the whole day feeling shy or irritable. Our interactions did not shine our brightest light in the world.

By contrast, we’ve all had a really confident day. A day where our makeup was just right, our hair was newly coiffed, and a new outfit had us feeling our best. On those days, we slayed in the meetings. We were kinder to our kids. We were more turned on by our spouses! Confidence is important to letting our lights shine brightest.

This was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me, around age 37. I’d be going about my day happy as a clam, then at some point take a pee break. One glance in the mirror and my energy would drop by half. I’d think, “I look so sickly, what is wrong with me?” That wasn’t the way I wanted to live for another 40 years.

In this vein, part of my response to the question “How do I know what should be treated?” is: treat what is bothering you. Sometimes you might not know exactly what it is other than, “I feel like I look sickly” or, “I look tired even when I’m not.” I can help with this.

I have sought specific training in facial assessment and balancing which allows me to demystify the aging process for you, and to guide you toward treatments that will have your desired overall effect. (Read more about our consultation process here)

Let your insides match your outsides

In general, the aging process causes women to appear more masculine, and more angry, sad, and tired. This can cause a significant dissonance between your feelings and your appearance.

For many women, the frown lines, or 11’s, are a common symptom of this issue. Lines in the frown area cause you to appear angry even when you’re not. This can be easily fixed with botulinum toxin injections. (Find answers to FAQ about Botox here)

But what about crow’s feet, or lines that appear due to years of smiling at the corners of your eyes? Should we treat them?

Not necessarily! The nonverbal communication relayed by crow’s feet is an overall positive emotion, so does not usually affect your relationships in a negative way. I generally recommend only treating crow’s feet if they’re bothering you (your makeup gets caked in them, or you feel they are distractingly deep). In that case, they fall under the previous heading, “Shine your light.”

I use these two guiding principles to create a treatment plan that will help you feel your best, while not wasting your money or putting you at undue risk. If you’re wondering, “How do I know what should be treated?” make an appointment for consultation. It’s a low-pressure conversation where we can dig in and develop a plan you feel good about.

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